Well this is my short lil break of like an hour for this week... I get to use a friends comp so I can check stuffs... But last weekend was amazing!!! and I were selling stuffs like pins, characatures, and facepainting! We made much moneys and were happy lil girls! We even started a lil craze with the help of our friend Cor-E and had a bunch of kids get Darth Maul face painting! I will try to get some pics or make her put some up cause it was awesome. Cept the fact we ran an hour late cuz said we had to stop in the mall for like 2 minutes which turned into 45... and 4 extra shirts and stores later we were running late... and the pizza... not complaining though since it was so much fun and I got to hang with friends and have a blast. I did have my fave shirt and pants ruined though and my legs are dead to the world still but I can deal I guess. But this next weekend is my annual 4th party with so many peoples I dunno what to do! So my family and I are cleaning and setting things up in a flurry... We only have 11 acres to cover before Saturday!!! And I guess we might be doing stuff at our local festival the following weekend... crazy times I tell you! crazy times! But all the same so much fun!!! But yesh!!!

WOW!!! So I am at the darling Leah's house using her comp! I know its crazy, I am online 2 times so close together!!! Well Leah is asleep and I havent gone to sleep yet teehee... no work today so I gots to stay up and such, I mean I will sleep after a bit. But yesh, I am with Leah now, kinda... she is asleep while I am up waiting for for to call about when we are heading to the pool. I have been going almost everyday with her and our troup of children we watch. But oh wells at least half the time we are swimming having fun the other half we are drawing and having a blast playing on our ds lites. But the last few days have been pretty coolios with Leah, Katie, Dalton, and others. Saturday was crazy!!! I am stiiiiiiiiiiill worn out. But its fun and such. That and I got to check on my practacly sister Kayli and her new baby Addie!!! I might even get to go see her sometime soon since her husband just left for iraq and such. But yesh, I have been sooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo busy!Today is pool with the kids and Brittani and Leah then maybe Transformers WHoot!!! Also I have the 4th party to get ready for, we always have about 200 people who travel from all over to come so its a big thing... then trying to watch kids and animals, hanging with friends, fixing the lawn mower the two tractors and the lights on the trailer, then we have my lil sibs 4H projects and dog and horse training, then and I are selling stuff in Morenci soon, my book thing my aunt is helping with.... Its surprising I have gotten on DA the few times I have and I am sorry for not being on more but lack of computer makes it difficult so when I get on I take care of buisness then I try to send quick emails to close friends then I check everything else. But I do miss all of you!!! Like none other considering you all are so funny and totally lift my spirits no matter what! But yesh I love you alls!!! But those of you who know my messenger can try me there though I wont be on often if at all or email me since I post my email up publically and such cause I check email first and then I might be more likely to see your stuffs which I trully do love to see!!! Gah I dunno so much but its all good cause you know when you have ten thousand things but most are pretty good so you dont mind? thats how I feel. I have been going to comic shops with the chicas, and crashing at Dalton's house to go swimming, and shooting firewworks off randomly in s backyard then running off for pizza ice cream and park fun times, or going to see Matt and everyone have nummy milkshakes? in the end its good times. Plus I was able to talk to Adam who was in a accident, and Spidey, Roxy, Shelby, Megan (all 3 of them),Crackerjack, Sam, Paps, Pat, Panda, Jon RA, Ernie, Brice, Greglipuffypoo, 2D, Jeffles, AG and the gang from college. Plus I talk to Miles everynite. In the end like I said freakishly busy but whatevs its all good when its all good stuff..... Even my lungs are looking better! Whoot-ola Jolt-cola! Speaking of such phrases my friends back in Indiana I might be visiting with if we head out to Chicago and stay with them later so thatll be fun stuffs... ANd the NYC trip!!!! OMG!! SO much but still, I dont feel that stressed. I feel strangely rejuvinated! I dunno, After last week I started getting some of my pep back and I am happy about it. I have thousands of pics I need to put on here still dont have a scanner! But and I might be able to get some stuff up soonish. But a lot I have taken pics with my cell phone of the stuff we are selling at least! Ahhhh soooo that is the update of updates! I am working hard but I think of all you often! Much love and hope its not to long until I am back online and perhaps next time with goodies!!! Fingers crossed!!!!

Well I have been gone and will remain gone for the rest of the summer probably. But, fortunately for me my wonderous friend :iconmorgotheone: has been allowing me to check some stuff on her computer. Love her for I know I do!!! she tis the bombiest bomb of a quesadilla ever!!! her and leah and all my other friends are amazing and have been taking care of me. but one friend, not so much. in fact i have felt betrayed and hurt by. and i cant take it any longer.... i wrote this after last time we talked so this is a few days old but here, its for you cause you dont want to talk to me, or care so this is the only way to let you know how i feel and that i dont care anymore.

I have tried to stay in touch and close since the start of my freshman year have I not? I thought that is what friends do. Apparently not… you don’t care at all do you? I may sound like a horrid person but I cannot deal with this any longer. I am sick of feeling dispensable. I am the only one who has tried to ensure our friendship lasts. I have been hurt too much and too often by people who I care about and I had confided in you about this and thought you understood, my biggest mistake huh? I guess I don’t matter, I guess I am not a friend, I guess I am trash because friends don’t hurt each other in such ways again and again and again and again. My seem small to forget to call, or to ditch someone, or to do any of the small petty things you’ve done but after I lost how many times its happened to me I feel as if I am nothing but trash that you feel you can forget about without consequence. I know you have things to do and a life, but I still expect to be treated as a friend. And you know I wake up at the crack of dawn literally to take care of my kids, my dogs, horses, bunnies, and all my crazy responsibilities but I still sit up and wait all night without sleep for your call so you don’t call and get upset that I am asleep when you say you will call that never comes. Why? Because I don’t want to betray your trust, I say I will wait so I do… I know you make time for others because I have watched it happen, how does this make me feel? Hmm I wonder. Perhaps I finally realize from your blog that said barely anything about me, and all the other little jerk moves you do to me, that I am not important to you. If it’s so then say it! It’s less hurtful to be stabbed fully in the back once with vigor that the hundreds of little slices of betrayal I feel from you. Do you not ensure your contact and friendship with Christine and the others? I know in your eyes I am not worthy to be the dirt on her oh so perfect boots but I still thought I was your friend. The same reasons are some of the reasons kayli grew upset with you more and more. The way you treat us is different, yet you whine about all that happens to you from kayli? Ever think maybe it had to do with what you did? Or how you acted like we were nothing compared to your “new friends”? I mean I have tried to help you for so long. Yet I feel like I am nothing to you. Still I tried to be something to you, a friend; I made sure we stayed in touch when you could not. I walked 8 miles and used my precious laundry money to call you from a payphone in the worst parts of city in all kinds of weather. I did so when it was convenient for you not me. Kayli did such things as well but she made sure it was a priority to talk to me, to laugh, and comfort me. That is why we are so close. Not because I didn’t want to as close with you. You just seemed to care less. So yes I feel closer to kayli but she also practically lived with me and she is my other sister now .but you were my close friend in my heart but after being treated like I could be thrown away like an item past its prime I just can’t take it. I know the friendship I feel for you, you don’t feel for me. I p[link] I have tried my hardest to be a good friend but if I am not I am sorry. Talking, sharing tears and fears, delighting in good times, writing and drawing, improving together, laughing, and all around sharing made it a point to help and protect. Whether it was from kayli’s anger, inner demons, the outside world, and whatever else I could control. But still if i'm not good enough for your time of day…. Then maybe I don’t care anymore. My heart breaks when I think about it but the cracks in it deepen with each time you distance yourself and I have to mend it alone rather than allow you to butcher in anymore. I’m sorry. I know I am rubbish and my past make me less than desirable for friendship but I really did care. I cannot speak for anyone other than myself but my own voice will mimic the voice of my heart and say I am sorry for the trouble I am and have been but now after so long and so many little cutes to my soul of being forgotten little each day I must say goodbye before I break in two.

Sooooooooooo I havent really updated in a while and wont be for even longer sorry!!! You see next week is finals for my college are next week and I will and already am up to my nose in work, stress, studying, and all the wonders of college. Oh joy!!!! And as a few of you may know I cant really get online once I return back home for break, with no home comp to access and work and babysitting and whatnot it will few and far between for seeing me online.

Lets see, hmmm this is the agenda so far for my summer so far...
1) Get home and celebrate mothersday/my moms bday
2) babysit my lil sibs and their friends for a week and a half while parental units go on cruise
3) Take care of my 6 horses, my dog, the fish, the cat, the bunny, and such... while finding a job
4) Going to Florida to burry my great-grandmother
5) Working on my book
6) Put together the "High Tea" fund raiser for my church
7) Work on my comic and art
8) Travel to Kansas for my best friends babies birth
9) Put on my annual 4th of July party not on the 4th
10) Put together my portfolio
11) Some how find a way to go see my biological father in Chicago
12) Find a way to go see my Boyfriend in Cleveland
13) Go to New York City to see my Aunt and Uncle and do a writer's workshop
14) Go to a convention in Wisconsin
15) Have tests/surgery on lungs
16) And ten-thousand other things....

So I am sorry if I dont get on often or at all! I am sorry!!! And to top it off, I am under crazy amounts of stress. I had my DS and games stolen, my keychain with my keys, my wallet, money, and some games.... then same with my boyfriend who I had to pay for his food and such cause they also took his id, and credit card.... and cameras caught nothing. got screwed out of my meals on campus, had horrible asthma problems... studying for finals.... packing for move out.... and having 2 friends pass away.... fun times right? Well in the end I may be stressed but I am ok for the most part. My boyfriend is uber supportive and helpful and I have amazing friends....

So yeps, I am sorry for not being around and not doing much I know I always seem to have excuses but I really am sorry!!! I do love talking to everyone and miss you!!! Some have my phone number and you can call me! I will be around for one more week but not much so talk to you laters!!!

Tagged by
(whos journal on her character Lee was awesome)
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1)Choose a one of your own characters (OC).
2) Make them answer the following questions.
3) Then tag three people.
4) Feel free to add some questions of your own.

OC Selected: Yasou

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General

1)What gender are you?
Male... though not many know that *sigh*

2)What is your age?
27 as of the moment

3)Do you want a hug?
....Depends on if you are a pervert or not... that and if Jack is nearby.... He might not like it if I get a hug from others...

4)Do you have any bad habits?
Obsessive cleaning I suppose....

5)What is your favorite food?
Linguini.... mmmmm tasty

6)What is your favorite ice-cream flavor?
Cookiesn Cream.... mmmm now Im hungry....

7)Are you a virgin?
No....

8)Have you killed anyone?
No, but I have had people killed...

9)Do you hate anyone?
No, Hate is such a horrible emotion...

10)Do you have any secrets?
Yes.... B-but... I dun wanna talk about it...

11)What is your favorite season?
Spring, during the light rainy days.....

12)Who is your best friend?
Geddy who is my total gal pal in some senses, then also my cousins Rei and Eli

13)What are your hobbies?
Writing, Cleaning, Cooking, Cleaning, Taking care of my children, Cleaning.... oh did I mention Cleaning

14)What is your favorite drink?
Hot Chocolate on a cool day

15)When is your birthday?
March 5th

16)What age did you die?
Well... that is quite the complicated question....

17)Are you nice or mean?
Uh... nice? mored timid I guess

18)Are you social or shy?
Very shy, I dont trust many people

19)What do you think of your parents?
My biological parents I miss and love so much, my adoptive parents who were my aunt and uncle... well I was not fond... and no one else was fond of them either

20)What's your weakness?
Very timid...

21)How long can you stay under water?
about 2 minutes

22)What do you do on a regular day basic?
Clean and cook and write

23)Do yo love someone?
yes... Jack, my children, and my friends and family

24)When was the last time you wet yourself?
Um when I was 2 and 1/2?

25)What's your favorite band?
The hush sound

26)Ever worn a dress?
Yes....

27)How about eye-liner?
....yea....

28) What do you consider fun in the daytime?
Sitting and reading a good book or cleaning

29) At night?
Bedroom time

30) Ever kissed anyone?
Yes

31) ...Of the same gender?
yes....

32) It's clear you're gay.
Well.... yea...

33) Whats you're favorite thing to touch?
A nice clean counter

34) Anyone loves you?
Jack

35) Whats your favorite color?
Blue

36) When was the last time you cried?
When my baby was hurt

37) Do you have a pet?
No, we did... and it... well it didnt work out

38) What did you name your pet?
I dont know... it didnt like me

39) Are you crazy?
I dont believe so although some say I have issues

40) What are you?
A wolf demon writer

41) What's the end of your own story?
I havent gotten there yet

42) What's your nickname?
Kernel-sama calls me Yaz

43) Do you consider yourself a happy or a down person?
Um, down? Happy? in between???

44) If you were a superhero, you'd be...?
I cant save anyone

45) Favorite movie?
I dont watch much tv or movies

46) What was your saddest moment?
When I thought Jack was dead and I was forced to watch but I couldnt help as my babies were tortured

47) What is your strongest point?
I dont know? I dont think I have one

What would you do if…

48) …you had to face your biggest fear?
Already have... and it didnt go well

49) …you had to kill the person most precious to you?
I dont think I could, death would be a better option

50) …found out everything you knew was a lie?
I would probably have another mental melt down

I tag.... um and
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Well not much to update really....